What do you think?

Having battled so long with the beginning of the River Dark, the sequel to my children's novel Candle Dark, and finally realised that I was introducing too much back story, I then decided to begin as I do with a first in a series, i.e. plunge right in. Back story could wait a while. I'm still working on the first paragraphs and shall probably change things around when I've edited more chapters, but perhaps you could see what you think....

River Dark (isbn:978-0-9559818-9-0)    


One

It took all my courage to go any further, but whatever was happening I couldn’t turn back.  It was the first day of my new life, my one chance to escape from the terror of working in the mine, and I couldn’t give up now.

Nervously following the high brick wall around the stable block with the screams of a furious horse ringing in my ears, I entered the yard and saw a huge black stallion rearing up, thrashing the air with its hooves, and shrieking in anger.

A small grizzled haired man clung grimly to the leading rein, his feet sliding on damp cobbles as the animal thrashed about and he was no match for the enormous beast.  As it reared again, its hooves flailing dangerously close to the groom’s head, I saw him punch the stallion’s neck with his fist. 

Now wilder than ever, the horse gave a final heave of its mighty body, tossing the groom into the air, and he landed on his back with a sickening thud. To my horror, the stallion reared again, threatening to bring his huge weight crashing down on his tormentor, and I yelled, ‘Thunder!  Don’t!’